I'm Going To Punch Her Face In...

Anger is nothing new to me. I dealt with it many times growing up, and it's something I'm not proud of. As with any struggle in life, I still see it creep up from time to time, and have to deal with it before it rears its ugly head. Perhaps its the heat, or the stress of the end of school, but anger has been a common theme here over the last couple of weeks.

I used to think that being filled with rage was just a matter of youth not being able to deal with their issues in a constructive and healthy way (although there is lots of truth to that). But as the years and number of youth that I see increase, I have realized something really important: sometimes they have a lot to be angry about. There are members of The Door community who have been told by their parents that they were a mistake, and that they shouldn't be a part of their own families. There are youth who have experienced years of abuse, bullying and neglect. Labels, names, and rumours begin to take their toll on these lives and souls. 

I sat down with a couple of our girls this past weekend, and as we talked one of them said to me, "I'm on my third assault charge. If I get one more, I'm probably going to go to jail." She breaks the idea of who we "think" should be angry; she has a supportive family, she does fairly well in school, and appears to have it all together. It's amazing how often we miss the fact that any youth can struggle with this, even when everything else seems all together. 

One of the painful parts of being a person in conflict is that often we don't reason well, or in my case anyway, keep people at arm's length because we are ashamed of what is actually happening inside of us. This is the ministry environment that we are working in right now: a number of very angry girls who can't see things objectively, or have the courage to walk away from a situation instead of making it worse. I've been there, it's not fun. 

We want nothing more than for them to experience true freedom from this weight in their lives. We pray that while they can't change all of the circumstances in their life, they can begin to face them in a more healthy way, one that leads to resolution and restoration instead of causing more pain and brokenness. And in our case, we believe that the only way to experience this is through Jesus Christ - I know this to be true because I have experienced it. I have experienced coming to a breaking point and giving up my anger to God, and experiencing the grace of having it replaced with, well, grace. 

Some of this is just stuff that needs to be worked out as our youth mature. But we are so honoured to be walking alongside them in this difficult time of sorting things out, and pray that we are making an imprint on their lives, equipping them to deal with conflicts as they arise. And we pray that they come to know the freedom of giving it up, letting it go, and experiencing transformation and becoming a new person in Christ.